Tennessee Last Week

Cousins,

A personal journal entry here...

Last week was one that will remain with me for some time.  I was able for the first time to stay in our little cabin in Tennessee for a whole week.  I had quite a few chores and tasks to do on the place, so I kept busy.  Being in the woods on our 27 acres was quiet...real quiet.

I had some insulating to finish, no big chore.  I started putting up strips of wood on the ceiling - like furring strips sort of, placed close together to make a rustic look.  I think they will be whitewashed when the ceiling is done.  The one end wall will probably be covered with cut stone from Crossville.  The corner where the woodstove will go for sure and if it looks good the whole end.  I bought mattress and box springs in Oneida, TN and they delivered it for free!  I had to meet the truck and let them follow me to the cabin.

I raked around the cabin, put down granules that get rid of ticks, fleas and chiggers and planted grass seed all around the cabin.  Hopefully I will have a bit of grass by summer.  I also planted clover in the ravine where the electric company right of way is to attract deer.  They travel through there a lot.  I saw over 50 last week.

I also saw two bobcats, one coyote, lots of squirrel, six turkeys, bunch of redtail hawks.  Late one night I heard a mountain "painter" - panther.  I didn't see it, but went to the door, shined my big light across the road and up the hillside to catch bright eyes on the hillside.  That might have been the panther.  If you have ever heard one you will remember.  It sounds like an old woman screaming... over and over.  The hair on my neck raised more than once when I first woke and laid there for a moment listening.

At night the stars were so very bright.  We forget how bright they are in the navy blue midnight .  I just stood and looked night after night.  the closest neighbor is half a mile away.  Few folks live on the road where our cabin is.  It is still a private road and dead ends, so there is very little traffic at all.

I enjoyed the escape from "real life".  It was only lonely in the evening when darkness crept in.  I don't have electric yet - (by summer's end) and the small lights in the cabin forced me to bed early.  Of course, I woke at daylight when the birds started singing and the sunlight lit up the cabin.  Maybe that is what we miss in "civilization"?

I didn't write much, just thought a lot.  I have a lot of pictures and will try to post them here for you to see, dear cousins.  My mind was made full and I'll start writing about the week soon.

Stephen

Bashful Child

Spring, this year
Is like a bashful child.
Backward and quiet
Hiding behind tree and bush.
Letting Winter bully
Waiting to slip out
Waiting till nature calls
Olly olly oxenfree.

Yet Spring is here
I heard a whisper.
A quiet chuckle
Mocking this last snow.
There, see the daffodil
Hiding neath that ragged bush.
See magnolia buds swell
Proud to wait
Impatient still.

Spring is like a bashful child
Getting dressed for Easter.
Grinning bright as it waits
Ready to walk out
Cheeks burning but proud
Of all the elegant finery.

The Feud

Cousins,
I reckon I might have to declare an official feud between the Hollen an' the Flanagan clans if this day turns any worse.  My hometown of Beloved is all in a mess because of Jim Flanagan an' I am tryin' to resolve it an' get life here back to normal.

See, Jim told this story up to Columbus, Ohio a while back about some raccoons he got drunk with old beer.  I sort of thought that was a funny thing an came home talkin' about the story... you want to know about it ask Jim Flanagan.  I ain't even gettin' in that hot water again.

My Cousin Peanut thought it was just a hoot.  He could just see them coons carryin' on an' he wanted to try an' see if he could get critters likkered up.  He stood in the bushes round home with an open jar of moonshine for hours Wednesday night tryin' to lure coons out an' get 'em lit on shine.  I reckon the coons didn't like the smell 'cause none showed up.

He figured the only thing left to do was to pick on harmless,,, and caged critters that couldn't get away.  You may remember I have been on the Squirrel Fishin' circuit for ESPN for some time since I invented the sport.  To that end I keep my eight tiny squirrels in a big ol' log complete with individual doors an' brass plaques over each door with their names... Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner...an' Fluffy.  Yes, they are the same eight squirrels that pull my little red wagon at Thanksgiving each year for the Beloved Thanksgiving Day Parade in which I am Santy.  Folks just love to see them in them little ol' hamster wheels I have welded onto the tongue of that red wagon... just a runnin' as hard as they can run, takin' me through the streets of Beloved as I spread Christmas cheer to my many cousins an' friends.

Well, Peanut got hold of Fluffy as the poor squirrel was sleepin' an dosed him good with moonshine.  Held Fluffy for a good while till he woke up.

Problem is, Fluffy is a mean drunk.  Fluffy lit into Cousin Peanut right hard, scratchin', bitin an runnin' that big ol' bushy tail right up Peanut's left nostril just for plain meanness!  Fluffy crawled down Cousin Peanut's shirt, bitin' an all till he got under Peanut's long johns an' discovered something that no one knew...my Cousin Peanut had his belly button pierced and had a ring in it!

Well, Fluffy commenced to doin' chin ups on that ring there and soon was pullin' on it, bitin' an tryin' to steal the thing.  By this time Cousin Peanut was on the ground screamin' an carryin' on so that my neighbor, who happens to be Peanut's Brother-In Law, Brother Woodrow Budder, pastor of the Booger Holler Holiness Church came out.  Brother Woodrow decided Peanut was possessed an' took to tryin' to drive the devil out.

That ticked off Fluffy to no end, givin' credit to some evil bein' who weren't even there.  Fluffy bit off that ring, opened it up an' drove it through his right ear so as to have a pirate look to himself an' came flyin' out the right cuff of Cousin Peanut's overalls.  He launched his sorry drunk self at Brother Woodrow who determined it was the Demon Rum... who shows up a lot back in the hills.  Woodrow ran to his pick up truck an' tore off down the holler toward the turn to Booger Holler, an ' his church.

Fluffy ran right after him, hopped into the back end of the truck an waited under an' old crazy quilt that Woodrow had layin' in the back.

When Woodrow ran into the church, Fluffy was right behind him.  Woodrow ran to the office an' Fluffy commenced to rain holy heck in the sanctuary.  He noticed a box to one side with lots of holes in it an' staggered over to investigate while he waited for Woodrow to come out.

The box was where Booger Holler Holiness Church kept their rattlesnake for the times the church had snake handlin's.  They called the snake Ol' Yeller 'cause it was so old the diamonds on its back had faded to yellow.  The kids in Sunday School would take Ol' Yeller an' paint new diamonds on him durin' Sunday School before a snake handlin'.  It weren't dangerous since Ol' Yeller had lost his fangs years before.

Well, Fluffy got in there an' saw Yeller curled round some tobaccer an' rollin' paper makin' himself a cigarette.  Fluffy was drunk already, bloody from wrasslin' with Cousin Peanut, had that ring in his ear an' was just a mess.  He scared Ol' Yeller to death right there an' as Yeller died that rolled cigarette flew up into the air where Fluffy caught it.  He ran with it to the alter, lit it on a candle burnin' there an smoked that dang thing right there in church.

Woodrow saw that an' had had it with that drunk squirrel.  He came out with a ping pong paddle, got hold of Fluffy's tail an' wore him out.

Fluffy didn't take that too well.  He got hold of Brother Woodrow right back an' when the dust settled the inside of Booger Holler Holiness Church was wrecked, Woodrow required 1,239 stitches an' Fluffy took off for downtown Beloved.

Annie Pankey is the owner of Pankey's Hankies, a fine linen, lace an' antique quilt store.  Annie is also just about a bubble off plumb.  She had heard about green beer for St. Patrick's Day celebrations from a Catholic friend of hers.  Now, they ain't a lot of Catholics much in Beloved, but Annie decided to reach out to them by havin' an interfaith green beer drinkin' contest to celebrate the Irish in all of us down home.  Problem is, she didn't have no recipe for the green beer.

Jim Flanagan had been sendin' his old beer down to some of his kin near my hometown of Beloved an' they had sold the old beer to Annie to experiment with to get just the right color green for the celebration today.  Folks kept tellin' her that a 50-50 mix of beer to green dye was too much, but she weren't listenin'.

About this time Fluffy snuck into town, startin' to sober up an' lookin' for likker.  He smelled that old beer an' climbed into Annie's place through an' open window.  Annie had been samplin' the beer since Tuesday an' didn't notice.

Fluffy fell into a mason jar full of beer - 50-50 beer dye mix an' had to drink his way out to keep from drownin'.  By the time he could climb out he was green inside an' out an' mad that he had to drink a whole quart of skunk beer.  Besides, his green fur was clashin' with his new pirate earring.

That dang squirrel has done liberated my other seven squirrels, stuck them all in mason jars full of green beer an' they are loose in town.  It is terrible.  I have to leave tonight right for a squirrel fishin' exhibition down in Richmond, Virginia.  I have caught Donner an' Comet, Oh My Darlin' has washed them, used some "Just for Men" hair dye to get them brown again an' is feedin' them strong coffee through tubes attached to an enema bag.

I have been in the streets of town all night with my squirrel fishin' rig, castin' line after line into the trees an on top of buildin's tryin' to get my squirrels back.  They weren't eatin' nuts like they usually do, so I had to resort to other things.  Right now I have Dasher on my line, caught him with a Vienna sausage an' some kraut served up on a Ritz cracker.  I have been tryin' to reel him in for near an hour.  I caught Donner an' Comet on some of them cocktail onions with a dash of bitters on them.  I might have to try some hot sauce on sardines if them squirrles don't sober up soon.

The rest of them squirrels are wanderin' through town, bangin' on doors, demandin' old skunky beer, Chex Mix an' carryin' them little cocktail umbrellas, opened over their heads to keep them dry so the green dye won't wash off.  Fluffy has been seen in the hills 'round home tryin' to start a squirrel revolution.

I don't know if I can catch them all in time.  I don't know if these are the last days of Beloved, of squirrel fishin', of civilization as we know it...  I'll get back to y'all later this weekend to update you.

All due to Jim Flanagan an his dang bad beer.

Rest On

If you go back home
To the hollers you wandered in
Up on the hillsides
Close to the homestead
Look deep in the brambles
See stones a standin'
Reminders of those
Who have gone before.
Some unkempt an' overgrown
Some tended neat
Yet all silent testaments
Of lost love, life and home.
Sandstone worn with
Nary a word
Visible to the eye.
Underneath lies pilgrim bones
Waiting for that trump.
Marble some, milky smooth
Letters crisp and clear.
Yet all harmonize,
Sing the same song,
Reminding all who see;
This here's a good spot,
I'll just take me a rest
Till time to go on home.
As pilgrims sleep
They rest In peace
Knowing they slumber on
Beneath the poplar and sycamore
Safe on the hills
Of home.

Spring Song

Sing me a Song of Spring
Of Daffy-dills peekin'
Over on the roadside.
Pussywillow sneakin' out
Her catkins.

Hum me a little bitty tune
Of warmer days an'
Sweet blue skies,
Trees a bloomin'
An' waters warmin.
A song of life an' joy
An' promise...
A song of life renewed
Of the everlast of the hills.

A song that will resound in the rocks,
Be whistled by the sparrow
Hummed by the bees an' wasps an' mud duabers
As they mud their cradles
In the logs of my home.